Hello all three of you who actually read this. 
It’s been a while but I’m back to put up a quick video I was just linked.
Some guy spent over a year traveling all over the world videotaping himself dancing. It’s kind of fun and is almost 100% guaranteed to cure your soul.
My student teaching semester is coming to close. Less than two weeks of actual student contact left. There’s still a ton of stuff to get done before the end of the semester, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve started filling out job applications and end even went out and bought a couple of new suits to look all snazzy in when interviewing.
I had a lot of fun and have learned a lot during my student teaching, but I have to say I’m glad it’s over. I have never felt so exhausted or worn out on a constant basis for so long before. I’ve been so busy I haven’t even written anything new for the Malicious Monocle story. That will change. Ideas have been percolating in the back of my head the whole time even if I wasn’t writing them down anywhere.
Well, back to work. I still have a few lectures to plan and a couple of tests to create.
I’d seen some photos of this about a year and half ago. It’s video footage of a puppet show that was put on in London. However, the puppets include a 40-ft. tall elephant and a two-storey tall marionette of a girl. I ran across a link to some video footage of it and decided to post it. I think the elephant just looks cool. I wish I could have seen the show.
Today was my first observation as a student teacher. It went rather well. My university supervisor sat in on the second class of the day. It isn’t one of the classes I’ve started teaching, but I do participate in the teaching of the class and help out where I can. The form she filled out for my file looked good. It was all upbeat. Her big concern really seemed more about if I looked comfortable. If by this point I still wasn’t very comfortable in the class, I think she might have taken me aside to have a good talk.
I’m working away at my lesson plans and it looks as though I will be taking the classes over completely by about Wednesday next week at the latest. I have most of what I will be teaching planned out, but I need to make it fit into a RIO lesson plan for when my supervisor comes to observe. I need at least three of them set up, but may have to do a fourth at this time. My first formal observation is set for Monday the 18th of February, so whether I will be able to use one of my base three RIOs for her observation will hinge on when exactly I take the classes over.
I still haven’t heard anything from the principal about if I will be allowed to take over the gaming club at the school. I’m trying to decide if I should email him on my own or have a couple of the students go plead their case.
It looks as though we will have another snow day tomorrow. I’ve been watching the BBC News covering the American Primary races tonight while drinking a pot of coffee. If there isn’t a snow day tomorrow, I will be a sleepy social studies panda.
Another video.
I’ve seen pictures and video of one of the other events this group did. This one is just awesome in its simplicity and execution. I wish I could join in with some of their events.
I was talking with my friend Sjofn and was reminded of a story I had written a few years ago. It was about one of my first dates after my divorce. I took the lovely young lady to a Build-A-Bear shop and this is what I took from the experience…
And now I bring you,
I took Chii on a date yesterday. She had let me know a couple of weeks ago that she really wanted to go to one of those stores where you can build and dress your own teddy bear. Being a guy that’s willing to take a hint in order to make a date enjoyable for a girl, I took her there. What follows, is my somewhat surreal take on our time in the shop. My apologies ahead of time if I destroy anyone’s sense of innocence when it comes to their teddy bears. I did have a fun time with Chii while she built her bear and am considering taking her there again in the future.
We walk into store and the haunting refrain of a happy teddy bear song assaults my eardrums. My neck begins twichting convulsively, but I get it under control before my head falls from my shoulders.
I notice an employee standing behind the counter and we approach to get the low-down on how this works. As we walk to the counter, I notice her lean down slightly to talk to someone behind the counter. I figure it’s an employee stocking until I hear her whisper, “It puts the conditioner on it’s fur or else it gets the hose.” She notices us approach, straightens up and plasters a smile worthy of Jack Nicholson on her face before welcoming us to the store.
“Have you built a teddy bear before?”
Chii, obviously missing the sinister aura coming from the salesperson still has her voice and answers, “Nope.”
“Well, first you choose your body. We have several here on the auction block to choose from. The cocker spaniel is a new and limited body, so they’re on that riser there. You choose a body and then follow the checklist we’ve left in the ear piercing. If you have any questions feel free to ask.”
We walk over to the auction block and study the bodies available. A small man in a turban stalks behind the display of bodies offering commentary to any customer making the mistake of eye contact. “This one good sir is of fine stock. It will suffer through many hugs. Look at the full torso on this cocoa breed, it has been bred to withstand and camouflage the stains of mud and the blood of skinned knees.”
Chii chose a rather average body. A brown bear with a white muzzle and inner ears. Rather cute actually. The slave merchant had only this to offer concerning her choice, “Mistress certainly looks as though she knows quality. While there is nothing wrong with the body of this, there are far better and longer lasting available. Perhaps Mistress would consider the unicorn as a playmate for this?”
Chii was happy with her choice and delivered a swift kick to the slaver as we checked the list and headed over to the sound stand. What is a sound stand? Well, it’s where the customer chooses a vox ursus for their new stuffed animal. There are about fifteen choices. All very standard and potentially annoying after the first five times they are heard. Chii sampled the voices and opted against getting one. Her new bear is a mute. Considering the lifetime of bondage the poor bear would have to suffer, I felt it a wise choice to deny the poor thing any chance to cry out in misery.
The next step is stuffing the poor bear. The bear stuffing is held in one of three machines straight out of the Wonka factory. A wizened crone sat at the only operating machine while we were there.
“So, you’ve come to have your bear filled with eviscerae? Hand his body to me. What will happen is this, I will impale your bear on this chrome tail pipe. You will then work the foot pedal as his insides are filled, going no more than 70psi. I will fill the body and you will have the option to perhaps over-stuff him if you see fit. Once you are satisfied with that amount of stuffing, you will take one of the beating hearts our priest of Kali has left in that bin. You must take a bite of the heart while making a wish and then thrust the pulsating heart into the chest while chanting , ‘Om nom Shiva‘. While you chant I will seal the heart into its new vessel for all of eternity.”
Chii began working the foot pedal and I observed the stuffing of the bear. It was much akin to watching a liposuction operation in reverse. The chrome tailpipe was brutally thrust into the limbs and chest of the bear over and over packing the stuffing as far as it would go. I later observed this happening to another bear. The small girl had chosen the “I love you.” voice. The bear would proclaim its love for the child and it’s torturer each time the pipe was forced into its body.
After Chii finished filling the bear the wizened crone pulled a rusty needle from out of nowhere and attached it to the catgut hanging from the ragged ends of flesh in the bear’s back. She pulled the stitches tight and then smoothed the flesh of the bear to lessen the scarring. From out of her robes then appeared a pair of scissors a Fate would be proud to own and severed the catgut microns away from the bear’s flesh.
Handing the bear to Chii, she pointed us to the next station. It turned out to be a cleansing and indoctrination station. Another pedal waited for Chii’s tread. When she pressed down on the pedal a blast of air combined with a aerosol to weaken our resolve against the slavery of bears flowed from two shower heads that had once hung in Charlie Manson’s prison shower. After blow drying the fur, Chii combed and groomed the bear like a mother chimpanzee.
Next in line was the bear’s identification papers. Chii and I crossed the store to a line of computers. The computers were all tied to a database holding the IDs of all the bears currently owned in the U.S. Chii entered the unique color markings on the fur and choose a name. I forgot to mention. When the Fate was sewing up the bear’s guts, she inserted an identification chip alongside the heart. If Chii’s bear ever makes a break for the Underground Teddy Bear Railroad and is caught, they’ll be able to send the bear back to her clapped in ursine-sized chains. This is also the point at which Puff named her bear. The bear is forever to be known as Coz and no longer to be called Grrwrvvor (which means Kunta Kinte in Ursine).
Now that the bear had been filled and marked it was time to dress the bear. The walls were covered in various clothing styles. Almost any possible costume choice is available here for the new owner. We looked over the options and were taken by a few of them. Most notably the super hero costume and the small leather jacket for the bear who is lucky enough to own its own Harley.
Chii, dressed like one of the most adorable punk girls I’ve ever had or wanted on my arm, decided to dress her bear in a very traditional way. A pair of blue jeans with a hole cut in its ass, a nifty red shirt, a blue baseball cap and white tennis shoes. We also looked at a nifty tatami and some camping gear for the bear. Not wanting to encourage Coz making a run for the Underground Railroad, she opted out of the camping gear and tatami.
Finished we approached the counter again. The poor bear kept at the bottom of the well had finished applying the conditioner to its fur and was now calling for his mommy. Chii was handed her ownership papers and Coz was placed in a small, portable jail cell. Happy with her purchase Chii and I exited the store and began walking the mall with poor Coz rattling the bars of his cage and pleading with his eyes to be let go.
Coz looked like this before being ordered to wear human clothes.
Yesterday evening was spent at Adverb’s house having a good time. Within minutes of arriving everyone was naked and having all kinds of wild monkey-like fun. Marriage vows were spit upon and ignored willy-nilly. Wait. That’s the delusional paranoid prediction for the evening. In reality, it was a very quiet and enjoyable time.
Adverb and her husband Bone-Cracker served a nice dinner of ravioli and sausages. There was even apple pie for desert. We drank, chatted and played a couple of boardgames. Bone-Cracker and I dominated the game of 80’s Trivial Pursuit. I have to admit I almost felt pity for Adverb, Thermopylae and C (a friend of Adverb and her husband) when I looked at the board and saw our piece stuffed full of pie sections and their piece with a single, lonely piece.
I spent a good part of today driving out to Twin Lakes in order to get a couple more books for a project due Monday night. For some inexplicable reason most of the books concerning my topic are kept in Twin Lakes. I wish I hadn’t needed to run out to Twin Lakes, but at least I managed to get a number of Power Point slides planned out at the coffee shop this morning.
I’ve been working on a lesson plan for later this week. I’ve decided what I’m going to do and how I want to do it. Now I just need to get the prep work done so I can actually do it. I also have a book on reading analysis to get through. It’s just before 11 and I’m feeling pretty wiped out and I want to go to sleep but I’m not going to. I can’t even sleep in tomorrow morning as I’m meeting a friend for breakfast at my favorite local diner.
The best diner in the world: Frank’s Diner
Oh well, I guess I’ve screwed around enough for a bit. Back to the grind.
Why?
Because I bloody well drank it, that’s why.
The rum isn’t all gone, but I have made some of it disappear. I made more of it disappear last night than I have tonight, but the rum I drank last night wasn’t my own. I’m not sure if that means it doesn’t count or it counts more. I’ll leave the solution of that question to the quantum physicists.
A highlight of yesterday evening was fresh-baked apple pie. My friend Hurler had brought some McDonald’s with him for dinner. Somehow, and I’m convinced drugs or post-hypnotic suggestion was involved, the smell of his food combined with the scent from the candles burning on the coffee table to make Bayeux and Lamb think he was eating an apple pie from McDonald’s. He wasn’t, but the scent seemed to get to them. The next thing any of us knew, the two of them were peeling and chopping apples for an apple pie.
Captain and Coke goes amazingly well with fresh apple pie and two scoops of vanilla ice cream. They go so well together that I had two slices. Of course both slices were accompanied with ice cream. Yummy.
The evening was fun. Bayeux is going to defend her dissertation in Madison on Monday. She’ll be Dr. Bayeux then. So last night was a sort of pre-defense celebration. We drank, talked sex, education, literature and even a bit of religious history. Yeah, we talk about some strange shit when the booze is flowing.
Well, my drink is empty so it must be time for sleep.
Sweet dreams everyone.
